Dear 4-year-old me,
Today is your first day of school! I know you’re excited, and probably really scared, and definitely really nervous, but you’re going to have to listen to me.
The next years of your life will be hard, and easy. Stressful, and really fun. The best and worst of your entire life. You’re going to be bright, I hope you know that. You’re a hard worker, and that’s not something to be ashamed of. If you want to revise for that test, do it.
You’re going to lose friend after friend, because when you grow, so does everyone else. You’ll change shape; so will they. You won’t fit any more, and that’s ok. It’s normal. That best friend you love? You’ll lose contact completely. That subject you hate because your friend is better than you at it? You’re going to take it for GCSE. That girl who you absolutely hate? She’s the only one you still bother to keep in touch with. You know your long, wavy hair that you absolutely hate? You cut it all off, and you should be proud that you do, because that was very brave. Don’t be afraid of losing what you love, because most of it is going to leave you anyway… And it’s not a bad thing. Life is famous for its curve balls.
So, heads up…… You’re gay. And that’s completely fine. Literally, it’s great! You’re not going to like any boys, and that’s totally fine. You’re going to pretend to, don’t get me wrong. Whether it’s to fit in, or to feel more normal, you’re going to tell yourself you like the boy who plays football, or the one that plays pok
ém0n with you. But that isn’t a crush, trust me. You’ll have them on girls, but don’t worry. Nobody has to know (Actually it’s probably a good thing that you won’t tell anyone – not everyone’s really that accepting, and that’s not your problem. Well it kinda is, but only if you make it yours.). When you find out who you are, don’t tell the world. You will, because I am you, and that’s what I did, but try not to? You should be happy in who you are, not in what everyone else thinks of you.
Everyone has something important to tell you. That’s a way to look at life. Don’t worry about making friends, because if you go looking you’ll never find the right ones. The best friends are the ones that you meet by coincidence, and the ones that teach you the most. Don’t be scared of pretty people, pretty smart people, or pretty loud people. Also don’t be so snobbish that you’re scared of quiet people, or not-so-clever people, or people who, at first glance, seem boring. Everybody has something to say, or teach you (directly or indirectly), and if you neglect them, your missing on knowledge that could save you from some pretty unfortunate events.
Just a warning, confidence isn’t always a good thing! By all means, be you. Scream who you are to the rooftops, express who you are through art the size of the Bayeux tapestry, be who you are and don’t let anyone get that wrong. But there is a fine line between confidence, and over-confidence. You will come very close to it, many times, and you will pass it once or twice. Just stay in your own lane, but stand proud. Reach new limits, but don’t put anyone else down for you to be at the top, and don’t scream it into people’s ears. Just be you, in your space.
Take time to be peaceful. Meditate, paint, listen to music, dance (even when people are watching), read, write, laugh at your own horrible jokes, talk to everyone from strangers to your best friends, dream big, fall in love with anyone and everyone, drink exotic coffee. Literally, do whatever makes your soul happy. In the end, that’s what’s important. Not how you look, or what you do, but who you are inside. Normally if you’re happy inside, what you do will be happier, and you’ll look happier. Be grateful for happiness, because not everyone can have it as easy as you.
Please live your life with everything you have, and regret as little as possible. Accept what you’re given, but strive to achieve more. You don’t determine your fate alone, so be kind to everyone.
See you soon, 2017 you xxx
P.S. You are literally so cute and happy and smiley oml
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